Finishing Last…

I’ve been doing Crossfit for exactly 4 months now.  In that time I have seen and experienced a tremendous improvement in my physical fitness and strength.  However, I’m still a noob.  And never is it more obvious than at the very end of each workout session.  I always, consistently, finish in last place.  While there is never a feeling of pressure or intense competition, they do post the scores on the whiteboard, and there are leader-boards  and you just can’t help but notice when you finish last!

It used to really bother me.  See, I tend to hold myself to an unfair and unrealistic standard – one where if I don’t understand something right away or struggle or do poorly, well that must mean I suck at life.  It’s my appreciation for Crossfit lately that has allowed me to start to shed that poisonous thought process.  And it has transferred to my professional life as well.

Its all about how you look at something.  You can try to do something, and struggle, and basically give up and quit because you think you’re never going to get it and always going to suck.  Or keep at it, and finally experience that first little victory.  That boost you needed to realize you are getting it and you can/should keep going.  Most recently my struggle to wrap my head around Backbone.js – I’ve been trying for months, and would just keep hitting a wall and giving up.  I finally pushed through and kept at it, and finally feel like I’m at a good place with it where I can start to use it with my daily projects!

Every week I complete a workout at Crossfit and am amazed that I even finished.  Who cares that it was last?!  I just did 72 pull-ups, rowed 1200 meters, did 36x – 40lb. dumbbell snatches with each arm, and didn’t even pass out! (/bragging)  4 months ago, I couldn’t even do a SINGLE pull-up.

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